On the 25th of December 2019, my father, Sri R. Raghavendra Rao, passed away at his Mumbai residence with his entire family, including me, by his side. It’s hard to put in words his remarkable influence on my life, but I would like to try. Our parents are the first teachers all of us have, but in the case of my relationship with my father, his guidance and wisdom continued to be an important and valuable influence on me, until the very end. In part this was due to the relationship I was lucky enough to share with him, but mostly it was because he truly was one of the most remarkable and inspiring people I have met. I believe many among you, dear readers, could benefit from the life lessons he has left me with, just as my life has been enriched by them.
Teaching by example
‘Actions speak louder than words’ is one of those phrases that we are all familiar with. It’s a statement that demonstrates its inherent truth in many contexts, but one of the most powerful ways it does so is when a teacher or leader sets an example for their students or team to follow. In many ways, what made my relationship with my father unique was that having him in my life was like having both a mentor and a boss. I can honestly say that one of the reasons why his advice was such a formative influence on me was that I had witnessed him apply the things he talked about, in his own journey. Perhaps most remarkable of all, his advice was truly a reflection of what he himself had lived by, consistently and without exception.
I have been blessed enough to have achieved several of my own dreams and ambitions in life, so when I express this reverence for my father, it is not because I am someone who is easily influenced or has few ideas and inspirations of his own. The reason why I was always so open to his suggestions and guidance was not only because I was his son, it was because he had won my respect with his actions and the example he set.
Commitment
One of the basic values that I remember being inculcated with, as a child, was living a simple life. However, this did not mean that I or my siblings were deprived of things. On the contrary my father’s commitment to providing us with a wonderful life and everything we needed to fulfill our dreams is still one of the things about him that inspires me the most. From being a provider, to a willing ear and a thoughtful advisor, he took on the entire array of responsibilities that a parent has, very seriously but also very joyfully. In my career as an entrepreneur, as well as within the context of now being a parent myself, I have tried to take on his approach of taking joy in one’s responsibilities. It might seem like an obvious thing to say, but I honestly believe that this simple change in perspective can completely alter one’s experience of life.
Conviction
In an era in which having a steady job in a government department or the public sector was a ticket to long term financial stability, my father resigned from such a position in the Indian Railways, within his very first year of employment, to pursue his dream of setting up his own business. Today, when a young entrepreneur has the option to reach out to venture capital firms who are receptive to a good idea, taking such a step is at least somewhat practical, if slightly risky. Back in the days that my father took this decision it was considered downright foolhardy, especially given the quite humble background he came from. As I grew up, this ability to follow through on his convictions was a constant inspiration to me. What gave this ability further context was his determination to follow through on what he believed and the choices he made, all the way to their logical conclusion. Over the course of my career I have sometimes come across individuals who take the first step in pursuing their ambition, but feel entitled to success without investing that same courage into subsequent stages of the journey. One of the most powerful lessons my father taught me was to be unwavering throughout the entire process of achieving one’s goal.
Principles
Being an entrepreneur is inherently a far less controlled environment than the average career that a person employed within an organization experiences. Choices to cut ethical corners and act in a manner that blurs the lines between morally upright behavior and opportunism are plentiful. Perhaps the most striking thing about my father was how constant his fidelity to his principles remained. As a young man, having the example of a man who achieved success and a fulfilled life, without compromising on his ethics even once, was an anchor that I will always be thankful for. Even though most of us are raised to know right from wrong, the easy rationalization of ‘everybody is doing it’ can be a hard temptation to ignore. In this context I would like to add an observation I can attest to, based on some life experiences of my own, that may further reinforce the power of principled conduct for the reader.
I have interacted with large corporations, formidable regulatory authorities and individuals with the power to make or break an opportunity that I was pursuing, on numerous occasions in the course of my career. Without exception, I found that a reputation for ethical conduct won me respect and, very often, preferential treatment over others displaying less upright conduct. Never buy into the idea that being morally ‘flexible’ enhances your chances of success. On the contrary, I have found that achieving truly noteworthy heights is easier for those that have displayed a commitment to their principles, at the lower rungs of the ladder. All manner of allies, guides and mentors come to your aid, especially in the higher echelons of the business world, if you have a reputation for being a principled individual.
The most appropriate ode to my mentor and guide
I wrote these words in order to share some of what was most precious and exceptional about my father. I sometimes feel that we live in a world in which badly considered opinions, a sense of entitlement and lack of moral grounding is making itself heard rather loudly and persistently. In such an environment, it can be overwhelming to adhere to such rooted, moral and seemingly old fashioned ideals as those that my father represented. However, having been a witness to the life he lived, as well as to the impact his approach has had in my own life, I can vouch for the fact that these values have the same remarkable power to empower that they have always had throughout history. I believe sharing these thoughts with you, and hoping that they will resonate with you just as profoundly as they have within me, is the greatest tribute I can pay, to my father’s memory.
