Let me begin this blog with a piece of news that caught my eye a few months back. Ismail Ajjawi, a Palestinian student, had secured a place in Harvard and arrived at Boston’s Logan Airport early August, full of dreams about his new life. What followed soon after his arrival was the stuff that nightmares are made of. He was questioned for hours, turned away and ultimately had his visa revoked when US government officials found some of the activity on his social media profile objectionable.
Ajjawi had secured a scholarship to the prestigious university but because he had friends who had posted “political points of view that oppose the US,” he paid a price for it. The good thing is that the situation was ultimately resolved, and the student finally made it to Harvard, in time for the semester’s first classes. Nevertheless, what the incident highlights most is perhaps that we are living in a world of unprecedented surveillance and complications. The moment we hand our children their first smartphone or offer them access to a tablet or laptop, they enter a life experience very different to the one previous generations were accustomed to.
Mindful parenting
How else can we raise them today, you might ask me, when the internet is such an essential part of our lives? We live in smart homes, use Google earth to discover remote corners of the world, buy phones that operate on facial recognition, 3D print our homes, and are constantly innovating next gen medical and scientific technology. In such a digital age is it possible to keep our children away from technology? The short answer is, no it isn’t, but that doesn’t stop us from being mindful, does it?
I recall a speech by Tim Cook, the CEO of Apple, to the MIT graduate class of 2017. “Don’t Measure Your Life in Likes”, he told the students in the audience. Cook focused on the importance of technology, but cautioned the digital natives not to lose sight of their humanity. “I found my life got bigger when I stopped caring about what people thought of me,” said Cook. I found that thought enormously uplifting, because that’s exactly what many digital natives are having trouble doing today.
Pros and cons of being on the internet
As parents of digital natives, we need to first spend time with our children, and enough of it, to educate them on the pros and cons of being online. The internet is a great for resource. It’s great for communicating with friends and family, no matter what the distance is between us and them. It has enabled remote working, faster business transactions, online shopping and dozens of other conveniences. Nevertheless, it can also be an addictive habit that overwhelms real-world experiences and interactions.
As parents we should talk to our young digital natives openly about the negative impact of excessive gaming, pornography, online bullying and criminals that use personal data and information for malicious intent. It is of paramount importance that today’s parents become much more active participants in their children’s lives. As parents, we must give our children the time they deserve. Give them love and stability that anchors their self-esteem, teach them life lessons that make them smarter, self-disciplined and more aware of what becoming a productive and fulfilled human being entails.
Parents need to become more self-aware as well
I always feel that blaming our children for being digital addicts is easy, but do we stop and think about what got them there in the first place? As parents we too need to analyze what about ourselves could present a better example and help in preparing our kids to interact positively with the world they have inherited.
Don’t expect your kids to stay away from mobiles and online games if you are constantly surfing online or texting away. Teens tend to look less to their parents and more to their peers for role models, but giving them a strong base of real world experiences, during their formative years, can go a long way in guiding them through their journey of self-discovery. I believe imposing ideas and ways to approach the world, which might already be redundant, serves no purpose. Time only moves forward, and the world can never stay the same. However, it is certainly important to ensure that each generation gets the benefit of the wisdom of the previous one as well.
Ultimately, preaching tends to get us nowhere, at least when it comes to bridging the generation gap. Creating real, loving and open human interactions with our kids are the basis on which effective communication with them can occur. The qualitative difference between a virtual experience and a real one will always be the foundation upon which to create well-rounded and psychologically healthy human beings. In my opinion, enriching our children’s lives through fulfilling and interactive every day experiences is essential of digital natives are to make the most of the world they live in.
It’s not for us to control the choices our children make. In fact, this is something we would be foolish to even attempt. Nevertheless, we must ensure that the next generation’s perspective is holistic, rather than one that is manipulated by advertising, media and being addicted to the stimulation of their screens.
